War

The world is calling my name. "Success" is drawing me in. A fat paycheck is very appealing. A comfortable life? There is nothing my flesh desires more.

This is real.
This is my everyday life.

Satan has brought the heat this semester. Coming off a incredible summer of spiritual growth, entrance back into the real world has been somewhat of a shock. Being in an academic environment is a constant struggle for me. It is easy for me to get me down and lose my focus. Last week, I almost let the world win. I began buying into the world's lies. I began to believe that I had to perform--and perform perfectly. In everything. My test grades weren't high enough. I completely forgot an assignment. Making an error on my time sheet led me to consider quitting work. I was not balancing everything and I was stressed. I was constantly comparing myself to others, and they were all doing life better than I was. I couldn't be happy. Nothing was going right. I felt like a complete failure.

Just as I was hitting my breaking point, in steps Dad. I cannot say how it happened. But suddenly, it hit me. My expectations for myself were set at "Perfect." I was viewing myself as completely capable of doing everything to perfection and anything less was unacceptable. God calmed me down & gently said,

"I am the Creator. You, Ashley, are the created. I am the Savior. You are the saved. I lived the perfect life so that you are free to fall short."

Phew, I haven't felt relief like I did at that moment in a long time. It scares me that I can so easily forget something so basic.

But then again, I am not surprised.


"Be alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour...The eyes of the Lord roam over the whole earth, to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." (1 Peter 5:8 & 2 Chronicles 16:9)