the first of many "goodbyes"

There are 194 days until my world is changed forever. Although marriage will quite probably be the biggest change I will ever experience, there are many smaller accompanying changes that will take place between now and next fall.

In 151 days, I will be graduating from college, leaving the best friends I could ever imagine. Leaving a CRU small group of girls that have walked together through the past year (or two, or three). Leaving the crazy kids in my major, which have all become one big family. Leaving role models and mentors who have been crucial in encouraging me and pushing me towards what is good and what is true. This summer, Brandon and I will starting our life together in Wilmington. Yes, I am excited to live there, but I do not want to say goodbye to Raleigh. I will be leaving a city that I love, a place I have come to call home. On top of all of that, I will even be pursuing a real job of some sort (who knows!).

But in 13 days, I will be leaving one of the biggest blessings God has ever given me. A multi-generational small group from my church full of some of the most godly people I know. The group meets weekly to fellowship, mull over scripture, and pray together. From them, I have gained a fuller understanding of the body, and of who God is. I have learned so much, and now I am struggling to find words. Here is a pretty pathetic attempt to highlight a few of the major takeaways from my time with this community:

1. Nobody at any stage of life has it all together. We desperately need Jesus, and we also need each other.

2. Even the most amazing Christians go through seasons of intense temptation and trial.

3. Marriage is hard. Really hard. But God's power is so much greater. He created marriage, and He fights for His children. In this group alone, I have witnessed and heard multiple stories of God redeeming marriages that have appeared to have fallen apart.

4. You really can live a life for God's glory beyond college and summer projects. In fact it has been amazing to see just how much more intimate and sweet a relationship with God can get over decades of life together.

5. Community is one of the most important things for me personally. (And probably you too.) It also takes work. Many weeks, I was exhausted and reluctant to go only to come home blessed by the way my burdens were lifted, and my mind eased. God speaks and moves in His people, no doubt.

My heart is sad. I hate that Brandon and I have to leave. But I know that God only has good plans for us. We are already beginning to experience the community that we will have in Wilmington with the Bridge Church. No doubt, by this summer, I will be smitten by this new group of brothers and sisters and won't be able to imagine life without them. For now, I am sad. But I am thankful. So thankful. In the short year and a half that I have been with the group, I have seen God move in incredible ways. I have seen Him change hearts, restore marriages, and generally draw all of us closer to Himself. I can only thank Him for this blessing and what it will mean to me for the rest of my life.